Married couples often struggle with communication and romance. The more I think about this the more I believe that most of us don’t want to stink at this it’s just that we don’t want to be awesome at it. And as a result of a lack of prioritization here we give way to laziness, selfishness, or some distraction. We take our eyes of the ball and wonder why we drop the communication and romance ball. Good communication and romance takes effort.
As I was tending to my own heart in this area I came across this quote from Theodrick Bland. He was engaged in battle during the American Revolution and wrote his wife a beautiful letter. What survives is a virtual clinic in thoughtful, heartfelt communication from a man to his wife. Take note men. This is gold.
Writing his wife Martha in 1777 from the battlefield in New Jersey he wrote,
….my dear, when you are writing, write of nothing but yourself, or at least exhaust that dear, every dear subject, before you make a transition to another; tell me of your going to bed, of your rising, of the hour you breakfast, dine, sup, visit, tell me of anything, but leave me not in doubt of your health…Fear not, yes ‘you will again feel your husband’s lips flowing with love and affectionate warmth.’ Heaven never means to separate two who love so well, so soon; and if it does, with what transport shall we meet in heaven? (Meachem, Thomas Jefferson: The Art of Power), p.90
Notice how he wants the details, the particulars. He wants to enter into her narrative and see and enjoy it as he enjoys her. These details may seem mundane in our own day-to-day lives but they are not. And how can they be? They have your Love’s fingerprints and fragrance upon them! Therefore value them, ask of them, speak of them, and write of them! This will aid communication and kindle romance in your marriage.
Romance and communication never get old–even through the centuries!