Paul Tripp, What Did You Expect? (Crossway, 2010), pp. 47-48:
Because sin is antisocial, it tends to dehumanize the people in our lives.
No longer are they objects of our willing affection. No, they quit being the people we find joy in loving.
Rather, they get reduced to one of two things.
They are either vehicles to help us get what we want or obstacles in the way of what we want.
When your wife is meeting the demands of your wants, needs, and feelings, you are quite excited about her, and you treat her with affection.
But when she becomes an obstacle in the way of your wants, needs, and feelings, you have a hard time hiding your disappointment, impatience, and irritation.
This is where another eloquent biblical observation comes in. It is that we are kingdom-oriented people. We always live in the service of one of two kingdoms.
We live in service of the small, personal happiness agenda of the kingdom of self, or we live in service of the huge, origin-to-destiny agenda of the kingdom of God.