A step-by-step guide on how to be enraged on the internet all of the time:
1. Always remember: it’s about you.
2. You are the only person who realizes how enraging this situation is.
3. Everything is your business.
4. Learn the vocabulary of outrage.
5. Constantly threaten to quit social media.
6. Quit social media.
7. Rejoin social media.
8. Pile on.
9. Don’t keep your outrage hidden.
10. Make sure your tone is hectoring, intolerant, and enraged.
Read the whole thing for an explanation of each principle.
And if you’re looking for some real principles for online interaction, consider the following:
“You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor” (Ex. 20:16).
“A fool gives full vent to his spirit, but a wise man quietly holds it back” (Prov. 29:11).
“The vexation of a fool is known at once, but the prudent ignores an insult” (Prov 12:16).
“Whoever meddles in a quarrel not his own is like one who takes a passing dog by the ears” (Prov. 26:17).
“Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things” (1 Cor. 13:4-7).
“Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt” (Col. 4:6).
“By your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned” (Matt. 12:37).
“Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor” (Rom. 12:10).
“Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear” (Eph. 4:29).
“If anyone thinks he is religious and does not bridle his tongue but deceives his heart, this person’s religion is worthless” (James 1:26).