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As you all know by now, last week a judge in California overturned Proposition 8, the voter approved legislation that defined marriage as between a man and a woman. This has once again thrown the spotlight on gay marriage and the debate over homosexuality in our culture.

I don’t have anything new to say about Prop 8 and the importance of marriage, nor do I feel the need to repeat the biblical arguments for monogamous heterosexuality. But I’ve been thinking about the future challenges facing the church regarding this issue. It’s easy to say “we must stand for biblical truth” or “we must reach out to gays and lesbians” or “we must repent of our own sins.” These are all true statements, but they are not very specific. So I’ve been pondering what in particular should Christians do? Here’s the beginning of a list.

1. We should not disengage. It’s tempting to say “We’re going to lose this one. So let’s just try to love people and not put up a fight” But laws do have consequences. Seeking the peace of the city means we defend marriage because we believe it is for the common good. We need thoughtful, winsome Christians engaging with this issue on television, in print, in the academy, in the arts, and in politics and law.

2. Pastors need to teach on sexuality, preferably in the regular course of expositional preaching. A special series on sex is needed at times, but that can look like special pleading. It’s better for congregations to develop a biblical view of sexuality as they go through Ephesians, 1 Corinthians, Genesis, and the Gospels (yes, Jesus did talk about homosexuality; see Mark 7:21).

3. We should assume that there are people in our churches right now struggling with same gender attraction. Leaders need to verbalize this (not specific names obviously) in sermon application and in pastoral prayers. We need to convey that the church is a safe place for those fighting this temptation. Second to Jesus Christ and his gospel, those struggling with same gender attraction need gospel community more than anything else.

4. Youth groups need to talk frankly about sex and sexual identity. The public school teachers I talk to tell me that teenagers are more and more likely to experiment with their sexuality. They’ll choose to be gay for a season just because they can. These issues will only become more prevalent.

5. We must not be afraid to talk about homosexuality.  Don’t be silenced by Christians calling for umpteen more years of dialogue or those who say you need at least one gay friend before you can open your mouth. The Bible speaks openly about sexuality and we must not be embarrassed to open God’s word. BUT when we do speak we must do so with broken hearts not bulging veins. A calm spirit and a broken heart are keys to not being tuned out immediately.

6. Preaching and discipleship must exhort Christians to flee all kinds of sins. If churches take sin seriously and address specific sins all the time, it will be less jarring when homosexuality is brought up.

7. We must accept that no matter how hard we try, some people will conclude we are bigots, homophobes, and neanderthals for thinking homosexuality is wrong. Our goal must not be to stop people from viewing us in this way. We can’t control perceptions. Our goal is that those ugly perceptions do not match reality.

8. We need some of our best theological writers and thinkers to explore the nitty-gritty issues that perplex Christian families affected by homosexuality. How should Christian families relate to loved ones who are gay? If your homosexual friend  gets “married” should you attend the ceremony? Should families welcome their relative’s partner in the house? In the same room together overnight? How should parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles talk about these issues with younger children? What should a Christian do if he or she is put together with a homosexual roommate in college? These are just some of the very practical questions that pastors and families need help considering.

9. No gay jokes. None. It doesn’t help our witness and they’re not funny. Plus, the more we laugh at sin the more it gets normalized.

10. We must be prepared to suffer. We must not revile when reviled. We must choose to love those who work at cross-purposes to God’s ways. We must be willing to be called names, discriminated against, or worse.

11. We must put away “hate the sin, love the sinner” and put homosexuality in the context of the Bible’s metanarrative of creation, fall, redemption, re-creation. This is one issue just screaming for the bigger picture.

12. We must be people of hope not despair. We know the Lord and he knows us. This is not the worst crisis in the history of mankind. Homosexuality is sinful, but God specializes in sin. Look at what he’s done with us.

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104 thoughts on “Prop 8 Got Struck Down, Now What?”

  1. Michael says:


    “No one who is born of God practices sin” 1 Jo 3:9. Therefore a true believer will not continue being enslaved by sin. We are now slaves to Christ.

    Romans 1, among many other verses, tell us homosexuality is a sin, like adultery, fornication, etc.

    Therefore, tell me again how a professing Christian can continue to be enslaved to sin?

  2. @Elli,

    So…why can you ditch some scripture but try to legally force people to adhere to others?

    The Christian Church has been a mess from the beginning. Read 1 and 2 Corinthians, plenty of sexual immorality. And yet it was confronted, not declared acceptable because the pagan society liked it. I think this is more a matter of trying to be consistent in what we believe while dealing with a world that is constantly trying to get us to compromise our beliefs.

  3. Skeeter says:

    “Haven’t you read,” he replied, “that at the beginning the Creator made them male and female, and said, ‘for this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate.” Matthew 19:4-6

    “Let the wicked forsake his way and the evil man his thoughts. Let him turn to the Lord, and he will have mercy on him, and to our God for he will freely pardon.” Isaiah 5:6

  4. @Chad,

    It is beset with lying and cheating and dishonesty, could potentially bring harm to the injured spouse by way of disease, leads to divorce and children being split from mother or father and, most of all, improperly models to a disbelieving world what a covenant bond looks like – one that God has made with us.

    I am glad you brought up disease. Did you know gay men get HIV/AIDS at a rate 44 times that of other men? Obviously that does not work against lesbian marriage, but it makes the point about the inherent unhealthiness of the behavior.

    Can anyone give a description like this when I ask why a loving, committed, same-sex couple is sin? Are you able to describe WHY God would call this sin in the same way I just did with adultery without resorting to a simple, “God said so”?

    And why is adultery, lying, cheating and dishonesty wrong? Is not the sinfulness of these things grounded in the 10 Commandments? Is not a holy God required to judge our sin and ought we not repent of sin in order to approach a holy God? We are to be holy, strive for holiness because our God is holy and Christ died so our sin could be forgiven not embraced.

    God made the sexes to compliment one another and to further the procreation of humanity, homosexuality violates God’s established order for the family and the place for children. There is also the myth of monogamous gay relationships, so a gay marriage is nothing like a normal God ordained relationship.

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Kevin DeYoung

Kevin DeYoung is the senior pastor at Christ Covenant Church in Matthews, North Carolina. He is chairman of the board of The Gospel Coalition, assistant professor of systematic theology at Reformed Theological Seminary (Charlotte), and a PhD candidate at the University of Leicester. Kevin and his wife, Trisha, have seven children. You can follow him on Twitter.

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