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It’s a tricky question, but this chart provides a good rule of thumb.

HT: The Corner

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33 thoughts on “When Is It Okay to Ask a Woman If She’s Pregnant?”

  1. The color contrast is helpful.

  2. Wesley says:

    Couldn’t agree more with this helpful chart. Man, where was this when i needed it growing up? ;)

  3. Anthony says:

    I think this is in poor taste. And doesn’t respect women and the tremendous pressure they are under about being thin. Might be an idea to think about that before trying to be funny.

  4. Jaime says:

    As a woman, and former pregnant woman, I think it’s hilarious. It’s all about not taking yourself too seriously.

  5. melody says:

    Anthony get over it. I’ve had eight kids and I’m not in the least offended. In fact asking the question is what makes a woman feel lousy. The sooner people realize it is never okay to ask such a nosey personal question…the sooner we won’t feel pressured to look perfect.

  6. Sarah says:

    What exactly is offensive about this?? Whatever!
    After 3 kids, I’d say you can ask a woman if she’s pregnant anytime you see the head crowning ;)

  7. Kevin DeYoung says:

    Good line Sarah. Probably safe at that point.

  8. Pingback: Glen Davis » …
  9. Bob Dodd says:

    I’m with Anthony on this. It’s about women being thin-skinned about weight. Funny, especially with pro-life stance without concern for “vessel.” Babies and those so-sensitive women.

  10. Garrett Kell says:

    Yeah…I was in the elevator tonight with a lady with a belly and a magazine that said “New Mother” on the cover, but I must have been channeling Kev, because I held back from asking her when she was due. Thank you brother, thank you.

  11. ross says:

    Garrett: I think at that point you may be safe to ask her:
    1) are you a new mother? or
    2) do you have children?

  12. Anthony says:

    Most of your answers seem to reveal a thinking sadly similar to the culture around us,rather than a deep compassion what other are going through.

    Personally I enjoy humor as much as the next person, but as Christians I think we need to reveal by our humor how different we are from the world that hates Jesus, rather than how like it we still tend to be.

    Perhaps before laughing about something, we all need to first get on our knees more and ask the Lord, as we open His Word, ‘Is this something you want to be broadcast throughout the world that represents you to those who are doubled over in pain and without hope in their hearts? Will I, by passing this around to get a laugh, stumble anyone who you are calling to yourself?’.

    Romans 14: “It is good not to eat or drink wine or do anything that causes your brother to stumble. The faith you have, keep between yourself and God.”

    Just a thought for us all.

  13. Bill Myers says:

    There should be one more image: with her husband standing near her holding the new-born baby: NO

  14. Kim K. says:

    This is just funny – and a reminder to not take ourselves too seriously. When my son was in third grade, I was helping out in his class and when I told one of the kids I was T’s mom his response was- Wow!!! you’re so much…..OLDER than my mom!! Yep, probably not too many third graders with 49-year old moms. You just laugh along. If you can’t laugh at yourself from time to time you may be hopeless.

  15. jigawatt says:

    Now if she’s your wife, …

  16. Amy Miller says:

    I’m 36 weeks pregnant and I think this is quite funny. A friend of mine’s son recently commented that he didn’t know I was pregnant..just thought that I was “big like some other mommy’s get..” He was so embarrassed when he found out that I was wrong. I’ve been asked by several women lately “are you expecting twins” or “good grief you’re about to pop.” Women are worse than men when it comes to asking other women about being pregnant. I think this is great and deserves a good laugh. =)

  17. Susan says:

    A skinny woman asked that soon after I’d given birth…and I had the baby in tow (!) It made me feel pretty rotten. I always had the basket-ball shaped belly for a while after birth.
    Amy, with my last pregnancy a woman who worked for an obstetrician saw me at church and declared that I must be pregnant with twins :-/ My son’s birth weight was almost 10 lbs….but I still remember these comments.
    Funny chart. I approve! Better safe than wounding.

  18. I’ve heard it humorously said that the only appropriate time is when you can actually see a baby emerging.

    But, ladies, please confirm, is it OK to say you look really good/glowing/whatever, at any point?


  19. Susan says:

    Tony, we’ll take, “You look really good” anytime…as long as it’s sincere!

  20. Melody says:

    I don’t understand the offense taken. People ask and put their foot in their mouths because they want to be clever and guess before it’s announced. This comic is poking fun at THEM not at pregnant women or fat women.

  21. Cherry says:

    This is too funny! And a good rule of thumb to follow. But personally, I didn’t mind any of the pregnancy comments that came my way. Because I don’t take myself to seriously. I am 4’10” and the fact that I was preggers was so obvious. I looked quite comical given that I was round from my armpits to my knees. Where is a baby on a woman my size gonna go but out, out, out! So I laughed when others said I looked ready to pop. Cause I did! It wasn’t a reference to my weight but my ginormous belly!

  22. Jeff Baxter says:

    True. Same for age and weight. Do not ask. :-)

  23. Laurette says:

    “Perhaps before laughing about something, we all need to first get on our knees more and ask the Lord, as we open His Word, ‘Is this something you want to be broadcast throughout the world that represents you to those who are doubled over in pain and without hope in their hearts? Will I, by passing this around to get a laugh, stumble anyone who you are calling to yourself?’.”

    This is a great way to ensure that nothing will ever be funny again.

    Some jokes cause pain. This one doesn’t, as far as I’m concerned and judging by ALL the women who’ve commented so far.

  24. Ali says:

    Very good! Love it – certainly made me laugh.

  25. Bill says:

    Mad Magazine’s feature “snappy answers to stupid questions’ comes to mind right now!

  26. Jacob says:

    this would have been helpful to me last week…

  27. Becky says:

    I learned this lesson when I asked a pregnant-looking woman, “Are you expecting?” She burst into tears and replied, “No, we’ve been trying for 9 years and can’t get pregnant!” Lesson learned! Now, if I suspect, I ask, “What’s new and exciting in your life?”

  28. Christine says:

    I thought this illustration was excellent and very true. I’ve had two children, and although I now weigh less than I did before I had children, I never seem to lose that extra little pouch on my belly – though not enough to make me look more than a couple months along. I’ve had several people ask me if I’m pregnant (honestly, too many to count – and mostly women) and I’ve come to the point where I look them in the face and say “I’m not pregnant”. They would have benefited from seeing this chart!

  29. Laura says:

    As a virgin who is CONSTANTLY asked this question, I don’t at all find this picture offensive. I find the people who ask the question offensive. If this picture, at all, can help those people see the light (especially in this light hearted manner), I will nothing but appreciate this picture. Hope that helps your understanding of the issue, Anthony.

    PS – in the latest incident the woman tried to recover her dignity by saying I just hadn’t yet regained my figure from all my previous pregnancies.

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Kevin DeYoung

Kevin DeYoung is the senior pastor at Christ Covenant Church in Matthews, North Carolina. He is chairman of the board of The Gospel Coalition, assistant professor of systematic theology at Reformed Theological Seminary (Charlotte), and a PhD candidate at the University of Leicester. Kevin and his wife, Trisha, have seven children. You can follow him on Twitter.

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