I hope this post comes across the right way. It could be construed as self-congratulatory, but I really mean it to be just the opposite.
At the end of each month I usually list the books I’ve read and give a brief evaluation of each. I dropped this habit for a couple months, thinking it proud (or at least worried it may be thought proud) until some friends told me I should pick it up again. As I explained awhile back, I think they’re right. Most people reading this blog like books and most are probably interested in getting book recommendations and evaluations. So I put up my February list last week.
But I also know this is dangerous. I could seem proud (or be proud!) for reading books. And you might feel discouraged if you don’t read as much. Christians (who can read) should read good books. Pastors especially should be readers. But the number of books read are not the measure of Christian maturity or faithfulness. Maybe you read slowly. Maybe you have little access to books or few resources to purchase them. Maybe you are busy with a job, kids and invalid mother and have no time in this season of life for serious reading.
Or maybe you are better at other things.
Here’s one of the hardest truths for Christians to understand, let alone embrace: some of us will do more of a particular good thing than others and some will do less. And the difference may not be sinful.
I have struggled with this over the years. I remember in seminary noticing that the prayer room was often occupied very early in the morning, and for long stretches, by a few of the same students (all Koreans as I recall). I prayed in the morning too, but not as long. I didn’t feel like a complete failure in prayer, but compared to these brothers I felt like a slacker. Prayer is a good thing. They were praying more than I was. Therefore I felt like I must be a worse Christian if I did not pray as much.
I’ll give another example. Years ago I was talking with a young man who was particularly moved by a need in the community. The Spirit was at work in this man’s life. He was growing quickly in the Lord. When he heard of the need he wanted to respond immediately and radically. So he gave his car away to the person in need. He wasn’t boastful about it. He wasn’t insisting others do the same. I’m glad he acted radically, even foolishly by human standards. And yet, I think it was hard for others not to feel a tinge of guilt. “Boy, I still have my car. What kind of Christian am I?” That wasn’t his problem, but everyone else’s.
Is a Little Less Always a Little Worse?
So is it ever acceptable for Christian A to do less of a good thing than Christian B? Most of us will say yes, and yet we feel like we should probably also feel a little guilty if we are Christian A. Or, we find a way to judge Christian B to get rid of our low-level guilt. Or, when we are Christian B, we add a little guilt to Christian A for not doing the same good things we are doing.
Sometimes those who are great examples of great things make the mistake of insisting that everyone excel in the same ways they do. A Christian brother throws out his T.V. and looks down on those who still watch ESPN. A sister decides only to buy from the thrift store and bludgeons her friends into doing the same. A friend decides to read through Calvin’s Institutes in a year and exhorts his small group that if they were serious about growing in their faith they would do it too. These are made up examples, but they’re probably real somewhere. When we get fired up about a particular good cause, good idea, or good read, we think everyone else should be too. But isn’t it ok, on some matters, that our conscience and convictions and capabilities lead us down different paths of passion?
This is especially tricky because some behaviors are commanded of everyone in Scripture, and yet are also considered special gifts for only some. We should all contribute to the needs of the saints (Rom. 13:13), but some have the gift of generosity (v. 8). We should all serve (v. 11), but some will be particularly gifted in serving (v. 7). We won’t all be as good or zealous about the same things. This is by divine design. Our gifts will differ according to the grace given us (v. 6).
All Aboard the Reading Rainbow?
Which brings me back to books. I don’t think everyone (or anyone actually) needs to read all the books I read. I love to read. I do it whenever I get the chance. It isn’t hard for me to read books. It’s not hard to write about them either (though finding the time to do so can be). People who know me usually say studying and teaching are some of my gifts. So I’m bound to read more books than most people in a month. Hopefully I put that reading to good use for the body of Christ.
But I don’t have as many stories of personal evangelism as I’d like. I get some once in awhile, but they are few and far between. Many others are more gifted in evangelism. Does that mean I chalk up personal evangelism as “not my gift” and never do it? Of course not. I pray regularly for nonbelievers in my life and pray for opportunities to talk about Christ. But if I hear of someone who shared his faith 20 times in a month and I can only count 1, I try not to necessarily conclude that I’m failure as a Christian.
I’ve written on similar themes before so it must be this is a perennial issue for me. I’m always trying to figure out how I can possibly be obedient to all that the Lord seems to want from us. At times it feels like God expects us to be 24-7 prayer warriors with a commitment to social justice and involvement in the pro-life cause and lead lengthy family devotions and mentor a young Christian and read five Christian books a month and work through Operation World and adopt a child from Africa. Have you ever thought, “Lord, I don’t have enough hours in the day to be obedient to all that you expect from me?” If you have, something is wrong with the way you use your hours or with your sense of God’s expectations.
I fear many of us are prone to taking our gifts and passions and putting them on everyone else as hard and fast commands. And on the flip side, many of us put the expectation upon ourselves. We simply don’t know what to do with another Christian who prays more or gives more or does more for the poor or reads more or writes more or mentors more. We have no category that allows for one Christian to do more of a good thing than we do without feeling guilty for how we measure up.
Some Possible Ways to Do Good, While Some Do More of It
And yet, I know the second I think this way I’m also liable to justify disobedience or quench the Spirit’s conviction in some area. There’s no easy answer to this dilemma. I don’t have it all figured out. But here are a few thoughts that help.
1. Most importantly, any lasting obedience must grow out of the gospel. Trying to measure up or get rid of low-level guilt are not good motivations for radical sacrifice. We read and give and go overseas and evangelize and feed the poor and adopt orphans and get up early to pray and mentor college students and write blogs because we have nothing to prove, nothing to earn, and nothing to do except glorify God in a million different ways and enjoy him forever.
2. At Lausanne 2010, John Piper told the audience (I’m paraphrasing), “We should care about all suffering, especially eternal suffering.” He said the word “care” was chosen, well, carefully. He didn’t want to say we should do something about all suffering. Because we can’t do something about everything. But we can care. This means that when we hear about grinding poverty or legal abortion or biblical illiteracy we are not indifferent. We think and feel that this ought not to be so. We won’t all care about every issue in the same way, but there are many issues all Christians should care about. When we don’t give a rip about sex slaves or gospel-less preaching, then something is wrong with our hearts.
3. We must allow for various callings and various gifts (see discussion above). We need Christians who will spend their lives to improve inner city school and we need Christians who will labor for decades to provide good theological resources in Polish. And we the one Christian not to make the other feel guilty and the other not feel guilty by the presence of the one.
4. Don’t forget about the church. The work to be done in the world is Christ’s work. And Christ works through his body, corporately in word and sacrament, individually in a million other areas of life. I can’t do it all, but the church—both gathered and scattered, the church as institution and as organism—can do all that the head of the body expects her to do.
5. Lastly, we should pray. Of course, this can become the biggest unrealistic burden of all. No human can pray for all the needs in the world. You simply can’t pray for everything that everyone will ever ask you to pray for. You certainly can’t pray for it all on a sustained basis. But here’s a couple suggestions.
a) We can pray short, immediate prayers when God brings something or someone to our attention. You may or may not put New Zealand on your prayer card, but when you hear about the devastation, you can offer up a quick prayer to the Lord.
b) You may want to add some general categories to your daily, weekly, or monthly prayer list. For example, I try to pray about abortion once a week. On a different day I have “widows and orphans” written down. On another day of the week I’ll pray for the governing authorities. Daily I try to pray for opportunities to evangelize. I can’t pray for everything under the sun, but by using some broad categories hopefully I avoid ignoring the most important themes that matter to God.
Radical Devotion, In Various Ways
All of this is simply a long-winded way of saying: don’t feel bad if you don’t read hundreds (or a dozen) books a year. I’ll keep reading and hopefully it will serve the church. You keep doing the things you can do best. And for all the other things, let’s pray that God gives us the double grace to grow where we can and also to joyfully accept that different Christians will have different passions and different callings. The difference itself is according to his grace and, if embraced with the right attitude in service to the church, will be for God’s everlasting glory.
